The other day I was reading an article in HBR written by Peter who introduced a concept of controlling your emotions. The concept is called “inner coach”. Many a times when we are in a particular situation, we think about emotions pertaining to that particular circumstance. Like if we fail in exam or a project or anything then our mind says that we are an idiot and a failure. It is very easy to dismiss it by saying ” …well, he is a jerk” to a person but when the receiving end is us then it becomes a bit more difficult. There is also a good voice which gets activated when we feel optimistic. The voice to motivate us, the voice to tell us that everything would be OK. The point is what to hear and what to not.
Name your inner voices. A good one – joey and bad one – jay. Whenever joey starts telling you that you are weak, you can shift to jay. And see how they both argue. Watch them, hear them… sitting quietly. Make a judgement that whose advice would be beneficial to you. If you have failed, then jay would tell you to get a life, and would try to belittle you every single time due to the reason that jay is a man of word, he is ambitious and he couldn’t see himself fall whereas on the other side joey knows that what is the past, is past and can’t be changed. What can be done is only about the future. He would try to motivate you and act as a stress reliever. It is up to you, whose voice would you listen.
Nobody is wrong here. Without jay, you would be lagged behind in life as there would be no inner fire to act and without joey you would be stressed as he is the one who is empathetic and would make you keep going. Good news is that, we have two coaches now.