Let us define confidence first. Confidence is something about which we aren’t sure about but show a belief that we can do or know a thing. Human nature is such that we tend to believe and show a confidence based upon estimation and distortion of reality rather than knowing. Don’t you agree that you don’t need to be confident about a thing you know? Because you simply know! You are confident that you are human or you know that you are human? You are confident that you can walk or you know you can walk? Simple, because you know. You don’t need to be confident about that. Confidence is simply a tool of the weak. Confident people fail to or are unwilling to see the reality as it is. They don’t accept. They judge everything. When there is a time when we are able to differentiate between what we know and what we don’t know and are willing to learn then there would be no need of confidence. Life would be full then.
Human mind is incredible, it can distort the reality so well that you can’t even believe that it is not real. Take an example of your physical features which you may consider as a definition of beauty. You wake up in the morning and look into the mirror. You see that you are looking a bit ugly. Your hairs are messy, your face is swelling, you are fat or thin, your jaws ain’t right and so on. You are spending so much time in front of the mirror trying to look better and after many minutes or hours, you think you are better. But the reality is mirror reflects what you want to see. If you have assumptions in your mind about anything, be it about yourself or anything else, it will distort the reality. You are seeing the things not as it is but how your mind wants to see it. You are the same person. Following the path of giving in to your mind would bear no fruit. There is a need to drop the assumptions, the pre-conceived notions; and see the reality as it is. We are blessed with the eyes and strength to see the thing as it is…
Whenever you say I believe in myself, have you ever observed the situation? Is it a doubtful situation? a doubt on your own capabilities? You are indeed doubting yourself and so talking about believing. The reason being what we know we don’t need to believe that. The belief is required only when we don’t know something. For e.g. I believe that there are infinite universes, I believe that there is a/ there is no god, I believe I can do it etc. Believe is word behind which there is a confusion and doubt and so to make ourselves feel better we use the word I believe in myself. Just accept what you know and what you don’t know and then move forward to acquire the knowledge which you don’t know. Enforcing and chanting the words to yourself will do more damage than good. You may feel good for a short period but ultimately it would not be fruitful.
So next time, try this – when a need arises and you say I believe in myself, just observe the situation. Observe your heartbeat, your body temperature, your mind fog and your willingness to learn the skill which lead you to say the words. You will come to know yourself better.
The most important thing to understand about life is that no matter who you are or how much money you have, you are never going to be able to get away from the difficult times that come with life. There is no way you can live your life thinking that everything will always be easy and there will be no bumps on the road. This is the main reason you need to be careful not to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by these difficult times.
Understand that happiness requires sadness
Imagine a world that allows you to feel happy 24/7 and all that happens in your life makes you feel good and safe? This sounds nice right? But the truth is that if you are always happy, you are going to end up feeling like happiness has lost its meaning. You should ever feel bad about being unhappy. This point may seem absurd but for a man who is not thirsty, water is useless, you can ask a thirsty man the value of water.
Have you ever experienced that when you are free, you have less time and when you are busy, you have more time? This may seem illogical on paper but practically it is all together a different story. Whenever I do more work than I am supposed to do, I feel active and energetic. Brain is unlike the machinery in a factory; the more you use brain the better it gets. There is no depreciation, or amortization. Imagine if money would work like that, the more you spend money the more you have. What is money actually? A piece of paper to let you live the life you want or to give you the knowledge you want or to make you a better person? If you think more deeply, you already have an asset which is better than money, the brain.
The brain grows in the same way the muscle grows. Muscles need a shock to tear the tissues so that they can build itself better, bigger, and stronger than before. We hit the gym to give the shock to our body but fears giving shock to our brains. While it may seem that you are weak today, your brain is exhausted, you are overloaded with tasks and you can no longer persist, but it will help you to grow. When you are thinking about whether to do this or not, somebody has already done it.
So try this, pick up a task which is brain wrecking. Do it. Do it for the 20 hours which need not to be in continuation but when you do that work, put all your concentration in. You will no longer feel stressful after 20 hours and the reason being that your brain will develop a new level of tolerance reaching its next level. The next level of success. The next level of enlightenment.